Presidential RaceEdit

Team BlueEdit

Running mainly on the Blue record of standing next to success when it happened. Nothing really is in their control, but they claim credit for not getting too much in the way.

  • Millicent Clinton -- Former First Lady, Secretary of State and current big business Blue. Does best when she keeps her mouth shut. Currently roughly even with Alex Luthor in delegates.
  • Bernie Grinders -- Dark horse and current Front running. An admitted socialist. Strong third in the Delegate count. Will be a voice i nthe final say.
  • Alexander Joseph Luthor -- Industrialist. CEO of War God Limited He is talking smart and has good early poll numbers. He is getting nicer. Has contracted Timothy Blackmane for magical protection.

    Never much of ta people person Luthor is becoming gregarious and inclusive. Unexpected dark horse that is roughly even with Clinton.

  • Vice President Brak O'Blama -- Immediate jump in the polls on his announcement. It's good to be nearly King. Has contracted Blackmane for magical protection. In late eliminated quickly.

Team RedEdit

The clown car having filled fast with those piling on the bright red bandwagon of crazy, it is starting to eject those with less than no chance. They are flinging waldgarb and Woo woo everywhere, screaming about anything but real issues.

  • Ben Autoson -- Late Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery, Johns Hopkins Hospital -- Religious nutecase, more Maroon than Red. Women do not need healthcare, except when pregnant. And he has no relation to reality, in a really serious way. Autoson has fallen back into the real universe and pulled the plug. Another also ran.
  • Rick Barry -- Governor of Texas (2000–2015) Down and out swan song given, stage exited Sept 15. Behold the smoking ruin.
  • Chris Crispy -- Governor of New Jersey -- No rights for poors, holds grudges. Has approached Timothy Blackmane for protection from magical influences. That will take a chunk from the war chest.

    Crispy has been throwing anti alien fascist rhetoric around and the dumb people have been eating it up.

    Against everyone in the Gay Old Party's wishes he has locked up the nomination. He is their horse, even if they dislike everything including the color.

  • Ted Crude -- United States Senator from Texas (2013–present) Started his campaign at a religious college, a proud ignorance of the Constitution. Major talking point is forcing the DSH into the FBI.

    He was forced to undergo the "philosophical Turing test" to get rid of a dunce cap curse, publicly stating the PoV of five of the opponents he attacks the most to their satisfaction. He nearly swallowed his tongue. He has hired Azarach for magical protection, at a premium from what Tim Blackmane was offering.

    Crude has been making gains while Crispy is having tantrums.

  • Carly Farcina -- Late CEO of Hewlett-Packard -- "I made HP suck, now it's everyone's turn". She doesn’t even have a formal relationship with reality. Called the "chief clown" by her ex.
  • Jim Gilmore -- Former Governor of Virginia (1998–2002) -- We gotta make sure the poors can't vote.
  • Lindsey Graham -- United States Senator from South Carolina (2003–present) -- Stumbled out of the race December 2015 in a moment of clarity. Exited with, "To save America stop Chris Crispy".

    He had hired Azarach for all the wrong reasons. He is taking the discount for having her visible at campaign stops. Doesn't get it. She is making easy money.

  • Bobby Jackal -- Governor of Louisiana (2008–present) Had contracted for magical protection with Blackmane. Not that he needed it long. Down and out in November 2015.
  • John Kasich -- Governor of Ohio (2011–present) He also has pretensions of needing magical protection. Azarach was his choice and paying to keep her behind the scenes.
  • George Patticake -- Governor of New York (1995–2006) -- Wait a minute, he was running?
  • Marco Rube -- United States Senator from Florida (2011–present)
  • Scott Runns -- Governor of Wisconsin (2011–present) -- Another statesman crawls from the smoking ruins of a campaign Sept 20. Still doesn't care about basic Human rights, unless you have money.
  • Jeb Shrub -- Former Governor of Florida (1999–2007) -- Slinging the usual red talking points. A fine disregard for facts. End of the den nasty. Plug pulled.
  • Fred Wanabee -- Former Governor of Arkansas (1996–2007) -- January comes to the brutal realization he never had a chance in hell. Associations with Dagon didn't help. Amurica the Theocracy. Team Maroon was started for him.

Team ScarletEdit

  • Rand Peter -- United States Senator from Kentucky (2011–present) -- Going for the paleo-conservative vote.





California 2th District (Vista City)

  • David McNamara -- Team Blue Incumbent -- Team Purple cracked the Team Red hold. Get on those coat tails and ride. Team Blue has more money we can win this. No real message. He is getting into the Family business.

California 37th District (Long Beach)

  • Michelle Martin -- Team Blue Incumbent -- New face California State Assembly.Not in the know, untrusted.



Georgia 1th District (Savanna)

  • 'Sandra Fourwinde -- Team Blue Incumbent -- A well centered unflappable woman. She is not talking trash, she is talking what I would like to do in Congress. Talking real support for real families, not some idealized and unaccountable "Family Values".

Georgia 11th District (Marietta)

  • Candice Mayland -- Team Blue Incumbent -- A smart woman with strong liberal progressive chops. Won a vicious campaign.



Kansas 3rd District

  • Simon Farrel -- Team Blue Incumbent -- Ran against Team Red ignorance and Buttkics poisoned the well for his party. Not in the know, not trusted



Michigan 4th district (Detroit)

  • David Lodge -- Team Red Incumbent -- Chairman of the House ways and means committee. Developing stomach problems. Not in the Know, untrusted

Michigan 14th District (Downriver)

  • John Conem -- Team Blue Incumbent Yellow dog Liberal. Openly for rights and fiscal common sense unless the pork lands in his district. Not in the Know, untrusted.



Missouri 9th District

  • Anna Johnson -- Team Blue Incumbent -- Black woman running on real family values. Add that Luckemeyer had a hell of a time getting his technology to work. Not in the Know, not trusted.



Texas 21st District

  • George Jones -- Team Purple Incumbent Lamer Smith was another one for whom technology did not work. Not in the Know, not trusted




  • Senator -- Samuel Numski -- Team Blue -- 2011-2016 --. Stupid git that does not understand science or space and distrusts both. Anti-know, untrusted


  • Senator -- John “Johnny” Isakson -- Team Red -- 2011-2016 -- Isakson is a rank-and-file Team Reder. Positions himself for the good 'o boy vote. Not in the Know, untrusted.


  • Senator -- Rand Peter -- Team Scarlet --2010-2016 -- Broke wit Team Red and the Coffee Caucus. A Senate run is in question as he has tossed his hat into the Presidential race.


  • Senator -- David Vitter -- Team Red -- 2010-2016 In July 2007, Vitter was identified as a client of a prostitution service during the DC Madam scandal. Being that it was a woman it did not end is career. He is from New Orleans Semi in the know, untrusted.


  • Senator -- Joe Finken -- Team Blue. 2011-2016 Team Red fought like dirty dogs to keep this man from being seated. He has been a ball of thorns in their gut since. Not in the know, semi-trusted


  • Senator -- Rafael Edward "Ted" Crude -- Team Red -- 2011-2017 -- The junior Senator from Texas. Elected in 2010, he is the first Cuban American or Latino to hold the office of US Senator from Texas. Crude is a member of the Coffee Caucus.

State & LocalEdit


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