The Seats of All Evil, Our National Nightmare

Technically the legislative body of the United States government. In reality a federal welfare program for a limited number of lawyers good enough to get money from people but not good enough to find a real job. The main purpose of a congressman, be it the representative or senator is to milk the American people of as much money as possible while never doing any useful work. Indeed when they actually do anything it is usually harmful to said American people.

A congress critter will cut needed spending to the bone while leaving all pork and cooperate welfare untouched. After all they are really representing the corporate contributors to their endless campaigns, not the goobers that vote and think it means something. The most important thing they do, in their view, is to keep the Federal gravy train running right into their own pockets.

META: Congress Critters are occasionally seen as characters in game. The GM doesn't mangle enough of them for cathartic release.

Noble ObligationEdit

This is coming. The Administration has had the oath of noble Obligation laid on it. The Congress critters are twisting like snakes in a vice to avoid this. Bills, lawsuits, speeches on how evil being held responsible is, anything but take that awful Oath. Time with family is looking good to the older or more crooked members.

Crooks & Liars (or the Honorable Members)Edit

This list is not complete and only lightly informed by reality. They get added as it comes up.


  • California 2th District -- David McNamara -- Team Blue -- Team Purple cracked the Team Red hold. Get on those coat tails and ride. Team Blue has more money we can win this. No real message. He is getting into the Family business.
  • California 12th District -- Nancy Petard -- Team Blue -- Current Speaker of the House and totally insufferable.
  • California 37th District -- Michelle Martin -- Team Blue. New face California State Assembly.Not in the know, untrusted.
  • Georgia 1th District -- 'Sandra Fourwinde -- Team Blue -- A well centered unflappable woman. She is not talking trash, she is talking what I would like to do in Congress. Talking real support for real families, not some idealized and unaccountable "Family Values".
  • Georgia 11th District -- Candice Mayland -- Team Blue -- A smart woman with strong liberal progressive chops. Won a vicious campaign.
  • Kansas 3rd District -- Simon Farrel -- Team Blue -- Ran against Team Red ignorance and Buttkics poisoned the well for his party. Not in the know, not trusted
  • Michigan 4th district -- David Lodge -- Team Red -- Chairman of the House ways and means committee. Developing stomach problems. Not in the Know, untrusted
  • Michigan 14th District -- John Conem -- Team Blue -- Yellow dog Liberal. Openly for rights and fiscal common sense unless the pork lands in his district. Not in the Know, untrusted.
  • Missouri 4th District - Vicky Hartzler -- Team Scarlet -- Well seated conservative.
  • Missouri 9th District -- Anna Johnson -- Team Blue -- Black woman running on real family values. Add that Luckemeyer had a hell of a time getting his technology to work. Not in the Know, not trusted.
  • Texas 1st District -- Paul Dumas -- Team Red -- A hard line magic denying Redder, well was magic denying. In mid 2016 he turned into a Hobgoblin. It did not ended his 2016 campaign. It's a hard Red district, he won anyway.
  • Texas 21st District -- George Jones -- Team Purple Lamer Smith was another one for whom technology did not work. Not in the Know, not trusted
  • Wisconsin 1st District -- Paul Whinen -- Team Red -- House Minority Leader. House committee for never learning.


  • Arkansas Senator -- Mark Cryer -- Team Blue -- 2017 - 2022 --. was Attorney General of Arkansas from 1999 to 2003. untrusted
  • Arkansas Senator -- Tom Linen -- Team Red -- 2015-2020 -- Former US Representative, former Ranger. Not a party animal. Has voted against the Team Red line...occasionally. Was staunchly against the Guaranteed Income act of 2015.
  • California Senator -- George Takone -- Team Blue -- 2013-2018 Former LA councilman. Active in gay rights. A voice that has been called an unfair advantage. Not in the know, not trusted
  • California Senator -- Paul Clay -- Team Blue -- 2015-2020 -- Strong Team Blue chops. With the strong liberal bias in the general California population Clay landed a decisive victory.
  • Georgia Senator -- John “Johnny” Isakson -- Team Red -- 2017-2022' -- Isakson is a rank-and-file Team Reder. Positions himself for the good 'o boy vote. Not in the Know, untrusted.
  • Georgia Senator -- Randy Cox -- Team Purple -- 2015-2020 -- Good ol' boy with a brain from Blue Ridge. Sick of crooked pols and ignorant hicks proud of it calling it religion. "It ain't religion, it's just stupid." A surprise dark horse. Team Red is looking for their jaw.
  • Kentucky Senator -- Rand Peter -- Team Red --2017-2022 -- Fond of painting himself Purple while sucking off the Team Red teat. Scratch him and he bleeds red however. A member of the Coffee Caucus. Not in the know, untrusted
  • Louisiana Senator -- Louis Randal Smith -- Team Purple -- 2014-2020 -- The days of corrupt business as usual are over. A proponent of ARM.
  • Louisiana Senator -- Candice Deveaux -- Team Purple -- 2010-2016 Vittler was a victim of the Purple Rash spreading through Louisiana Candice is a shrill rights and responsibility Purple. She is from New Orleans Not trusted.
  • Massachusetts Senator -- Elizabeth Warren -- Team Blue -- 2013-2018 First female Senator from Massachusetts. Still had principles, we see how long that lasts.
  • Massachusetts Senator -- Ed Malarky -- Team Blue 2015-2020 Rode the Team Blue coatalls.
  • Michigan Senator -- Jerry Peters -- Team Blue -- 2015-2020 -- Good solid team blue player that is riding the coattails like he means it.
  • Michigan Senator -- Debbie Stabunow -- Team Blue. 2013-2018 Chairman Agriculture Committee, principle in the cash for clunkers fiasco. Not in the Know, untrusted
  • Minnesota Senator -- Joe Finken -- Team Blue. 2017-2022 Team Red fought like dirty dogs to keep this man from being seated. He has been a ball of thorns in their gut since. Not in the know, semi-trusted
  • Montana Senator -- Byrion T. Rawlings -- Team Purple -- 2013-2018 -- A raw boned, red necked rancher that has a low bullshit tolerance. In the 1980s he shot down a UFO with a nitro express. Caught the buggers red handed at cattle mutilation. This got him "in the know". This has served B-13 well as Mr Rawlings is now a US Senator. Rawlings might have a red neck, but he also has a brain, and knows how to use it. B-13
  • North Dakota Senator -- Mary Porcrin -- Team Red -- 2015-2020 Strong Them versus Us type. Heavy grubber for pork. Not in the know, untrusted
  • Pennsylvania Senator -- Paul Rand -- Team Scarlet -- 2015-2020 -- Paelo Conservative and founding member of Team Scarlet.
  • Texas Senator -- Billy Bob Hawkins -- Team Red. -- 2015-2020 -- First politician to hire an Ane to get him about. Fairly open minded and practical. Getting in the know, semi trusted
  • Texas Senator -- Rafael Edward "Ted" Crude -- Team Red -- 2013-2018 -- The junior Senator from Texas. Elected in 2010, he is the first Cuban American or Latino to hold the office of US Senator from Texas. Crude is a member of the Coffee Caucus.